HVK'ing and Writing

hamantash:

i want jewish wizards fighting against the nazis and branding them with swastikas, taking revenge for the slaughter of the six million and fighting in the resistance. i want rabbi wizards in their shtetls, making the menorah glow in the dark, even when things were so terrible that they couldnt afford candles because they were essentially trapped. i want the jewish wizards to lead mass rescue missions for the jews in the camps and to fight against the shower of bullets with a shield, with a magic shield marked with the magen david. i want the jews to become David once more, to fight against the Nazi Goliath and prevail with miracles. 

i want hebrew spells. holy magic written in the language of a lost people, exiled from their land. i want kabbalah and i want the zohar to be mentioned, dammit. i want the zohar to be the textbook for jewish wizards and old rabbis with twinkling eyes and i want the golem to rise up from the clay riverbanks of poland and defend its people from the pervading rumors of the blood libel. i want the witch of endor explained and acknowledged as the first necromancer (a WOMAN, no less) and i want rachel and leah being known as expert herbalists because of their expertise with mandrakes and knowing all their magical properties.

i want joseph, the king of dreams, to be known as the greatest of all seers. i want all the prophets to become seers. some willing, some unwilling (cough jonah cough), but all carry out the word of god and the word of the future. i want the arithmancy of the gematria, the deep analysis of the hidden codes of the torah. i want muslim wizards and jewish wizards to excitedly compare commentaries and ideas on the kabbalah during the golden age and celebrate ramadan and hanukkah around the same time with love and respect for each other’s culture. 

i want enchanted violins playing klezmer music and levitated chairs carrying the lucky bar mitzvah/bat mitzvah on their special day, of chicken soup being listed as a viable healing potion. i want a frying pan that erupts with latkes with a whispered spell from its owner. i want a yad to be the treasured silver wand of a rabbi- none of that wood, no. it’s too easy to burn, like the torahs of Kristallnacht, their parchment turning into smoke in the sky. i want a silver yad with the finger of god pointing to the heavens and the hebrew words of ‘I AM THAT I AM’ inscripted on it. 

Have you ever tried to indulge an all-consuming urge to kill when you don’t have opposable thumbs? Or hands!? Or anything other than a bread slot!? You’d have a lot of pent-up anger too.
The Toaster explains his anger problems to the Courier, Fallout: New Vegas
Ahahaha! I am on-line once again! Tremble, world, before my electric heating coil of doom!
The Toaster’s first lines, Fallout: New Vegas
WHAT ILLOGIC IS THIS?! KEEP YOUR FILTHY PENIS-TIPPED FEET OUT OF OUR LABS AND SECRETS!
Doctor Klein does not approve of the Courier exploring Big Mountain, Fallout: New Vegas
You may know me as the Head Chief First Researcher of Labs Z-9 and Z-14. There I fought valiantly to preserve rattlesnake DNA, and put it right where it belongs, in the husk of another feared predator. Oh, and the tarantula hawk. Can’t splice enough, I always say, especially if you can make a magnificent Cazador!
Doctor Borous, Fallout: New Vegas

hanamaehata:

etwogami:

neofurry:

you’re trapped in a room and the only escape is through a door that leads to the dangan ronpa fandom and the other leads to the snk fandom which do u choose

stay in that trapped room forever

so i guess you’d be stuck, then. perhaps in some kind of home.

Steven Universe AU where everything is the same but Sugilite at one point had a heavy metal adventure by being the protagonist of a Brutal Legend with herself instead of Eddie Riggs

Pearl crossed her arms on the eve of Steven’s 16th year. “Very well, Steven! I’ll let you and your band of ruffians go about and do whatever it is humans do on their obligatory sixteen adventure-“

"Whoo!" Steven said. Connie tried to, too, but got bored halfway.

"But on one condition." Pearl raised one first, with the smug tone of one laying down a winning hand. "Sugilite is your chaperone.” 

———-

ROCK AND ROOOOOLLLLL!" Sugilite boomed with Steven and hisgroup rocking out hard core on her shoulders as she surfed down an exploding volcano using a giant sword as a surfboard, ramping up to chop an army of mechanical Morris dancers into pieces and boost the jump with their exploding bodies (And they wept at the beauty of their sacrifices), and then a stray stream of lava bounced Sugiltie into the air and a lightning storm hit the volcano at the same time, and she proceeded to rock out so hard it opened a hole in the fabric of reality for the legions of Hell to pour it just so she could beat the stuffing out of them.

"I fear I have made a terrible mistake," Pearl said, a very short while later. "Ah well. At least they’re not doing anything in appropriate with her around."

"Now everybody split up and start smooching!" Sugilite commanded.

Noooooo!" Pearl shouted to the skies.